


Infinite Darkness

by Crashing_the_Mode



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Depression, Gore, Mentions of Murder, Suicide, Titans, apathetic!eren, canonverse, eren's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crashing_the_Mode/pseuds/Crashing_the_Mode
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's the point of fighting when there is nothing left to fight for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinite Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, i never wished to write something like this, it just happened.

Eren just wasn’t sure anymore. Was his efforts even worth it, or was everything that he had hoped for a pointless dream. Everything that he had worked so hard to protect, was gone, his home was destroyed, and his friends, dead. The only person he had left, a beautiful blond boy with a dream to see the ocean, lay in front of him. Half his body gone, torn by the teeth of a titan. Eren could still hear the blood curdling scream he let loose. His blood soaked the ground around him. Eren was truly the only one left.

Eren thought back to each friend and comrade he had lost since he’d set out to destroy the titans. There was nothing left in his heart to even feel pain or remorse as he stare at his best friend’s lifeless body. He didn’t feel sad, or lonely. Not even scared for his own death that was sure to come any moment now. No, the only thing that Eren was capable of feeling was apathy. Maybe even envy. Sure his friends had all been subjected to painful deaths, and they were certainly terrified, but they died fighting. Eren wasn’t going to be so lucky. There was only one way that Eren was going to die, and that was going to be like any other titan. But he wasn’t ready yet.

Eren wasn’t prepared to be accepted into the endless nothingness that was death. He wanted to be able to remember his friends, and reminisce in the actual good memories that he had with them. But even from those, he felt nothing. No heart break from their deaths, and no longing to go back.

Eren thought more about what would come from dying. Even though he knew that there would be nothing, no reuniting with lost ones, no sense of being, and a lack of all senses. There would truly be nothing at all. But he couldn’t help but imagine seeing everyone again, in some beautiful afterlife. But no, he would be dead. There would be no heaven to escape to, and he’d already lived through hell. There wasn’t anything to actually fear about death. It actually sounded quite peaceful, but still Eren couldn’t bring himself to make the cut to end him miserable excuse for a life.

He felt the ground begin to quake, and he could see two titans rushing towards him, and still he did nothing. It wouldn’t matter if they ate him, he wouldn’t die, and in fact they would die if they tried. Eren could still eliminate the titans, he knew he could, but had no urge to do so any longer. There wasn’t an ounce of will to avenge humanity. He was done with fighting a useless cause, there was no one left to fight for.

With this thought in mind, Eren picked his blade up off the ground and brought it to the back of his neck, cutting a deep slice into his nape. Initial pain caused him to wince, but Eren pushed deeper, severing his spinal cord. He dropped onto the remains of Armin’s corpse, draping himself over him friend.

Eren could still feel the earth shaking from the weight of the titans as they grew closer, but he could feel himself growing drowsy from the blood loss. As his lids fell shut he whispered an apology to each person he let die. The one’s he’d failed to protect, as well as all the one’s he himself had killed. He never wanted it to be this way, but it was probably for the best. No one could get hurt anymore, or have to live in fear. Now their spirits were free, to embrace the peace that could only be found in death. Taking his last breath, and with a smile on his face, Eren fell into an infinite darkness.

He no longer would have to suffer through the horrific memory of his mother’s death, the one that started it all. He wouldn’t have to feel the guilt he felt, from leaving his squad to die when he could have protected them. He wouldn’t have to relive the trauma each night of being drenched in Levi’s blood after ripped his body to shreds. There would be no memories of the lack of caring he felt when Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Armin died. No, now he didn’t have to remember, because for the rest of eternity, would feel nothing at all. Simply drifting through nothingness.

**Author's Note:**

> I was at a bit of a low when I wrote this. Leave me a comment, tell me what you think.


End file.
